Monday, March 7, 2011

100 Bad Movies - 95 - Daddy Day Camp

Daddy Day Camp 

Personally I think that making a sequel to any movie, is a bit of a gamble. Countless sequel movies have failed to achieve the success of the original, for a lot of different reasons. It comes as no surprise that this list I'm slowly working through is full of various sequel movies. Quite often characters change from original to sequel, to accommodate actors/actresses bailing on their characters and not wanting to do sequels, which I reckon is fair enough. One thing that does annoy me however is when the original actor bails so they get someone else in to play his character, which is what has happened here.

Daddy Day Camp is the sequel to 2003's Daddy Day Care, starring Eddie Murphy, in which 2 men upon losing their jobs become stay at home dads. The need for cash drives these two to starting their own day car business. I've seen it a couple of times but not for a few years now, I do however recall having a good chuckle throughout the movie. Eddie Murphy's character Charlie Hinton was played by Cuba Gooding Jnr in Daddy Day Camp, and lets be honest, he's nowhere near the comic that Eddie Murphy.

Charlie Hinton is not the only character to be played by a different actor/actress, Charlie's wife Kim Hinton, is now played by Tamala Jones (previously played by Regina King), also Charlie's son Ben is played by a different actor although I think that's more to do with kids growing up quick etc.

Daddy Day Camp has pretty much been booed by all and sundry since it's release in 2007.
It WON the Razzie award in in 2008 for WORST Prequel/Sequel.
It also received Razzie nominations for:
Worst Actor - Cuba Gooding Jnr
Worst Director - Fred Savage
Worst Picture
Worst Screenplay

The general consensus is that this movie is a bad movie, and its place at 95 on IMDB's bottom 100 is justified.


Yeah that's right, I liked it. Granted it's not as good as Daddy Day Care, but I certainly didn't think it was bad.
This is why.
1) It's a kids movie, Its not trying to be, nor is it ever going to be 'To Sir With Love' (which I recently saw the other day for the first time and thought it was tops). Daddy Day Camp is meant to be a light hearted simple movie, essentially for children, nothing to complex, it's just for fun.

2) Cuba Gooding Jnr is (in my opinion) a good actor. He did win an Oscar in 1997 for Best Supporting Actor in Jerry McGuire, he knows his craft. He stepped into a role not previously his own, which I imagine is difficult and didn't do too badly. Again this is a kids movie, designed for kids, and while I could see his portrayal of Charlie Hinton as being somewhat childish, I thought it was a fairly good illustration of how someone who spends all day every day with little kids might occasionally behave.

3) I laughed, quite a lot, sometimes even out loud. Maybe (and I'm sure you wouldn't have to look to hard to find people who would agree with this) I'm a bit childish, a bit immature, and quite easily amused. But a lot of the humour really appealed to me. eg:

Phil: I've gotta drop the kids off at the pool.
Juliette: We have a pool?
Phil: Uh, no

Call me, Mullet. Business up front,
party in the back, baby.

Besides the humour, at no point in the movie, did I question why I was watching it. At no point did I have to force myself to keep watching. And when the movie was done and dusted I WAS SMILING. Simple basic story about working as a team, self belief, and fathers and sons overcoming their differences and being buddies again. Cheesy, corny, cliched, simplicity, and I'm not ashamed to say that I liked it..

The story follows Charlie and Phil, on their mission to take their own kids to day camp, at the same camp they went to as kids. When they get there they find it a rundown dump on the verge of being sold, to "the enemy" Camp Canola, which is cashed up and run by Charlies childhood nemesis Lane Warner.
Of course Charlie and Phil go into partnership with the current owner Uncle Morty, who bails on them at the first opportunity, and then begins the challenge of making enough money so as to not lose EVERYTHING.

Charlie's father Colonel Buck is eventually enlisted, and strains their already strained relationship. Charlie and Buck have very differing styles when dealing with the kids, which stresses both of them out, leading to the inevitable break up and reconciliation. Everything after halfway is very predictable and the movie end on a happy note after triumph in the inter camp olympiad.

The movie is only an hour and a half long, which is about standard for a film of this type. It does lead me to question what it is that people expect from films like this when they pick them up. It was obvious to me that this was never going to be a life changing cinematic journey of epic proportions from the get go, and to be honest I got pretty much exactly what I was expecting. Well I actually got a little bit more, because my expectations were heavily influenced by the fact the movie is on this list!

The old saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover" is classic and is never going to be wrong, however when it comes to this movie and movies like it, I think it's safe to judge a little bit.

This movie has gone some ways to restoring my hope that watching all the movies on this list might actually be achievable.

Next up is the first of NBA superstars, with Shaquille O'Neal starring as Kazaam in the movie of the same name. Number 94 is 1996's Kazaam

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Like number 94 on the TOP 250 Movies as voted by IMDB users -
2009's Animated Masterpiece - Up 
Starring Ed Asner and Jordan Nagai
Up (Single Disc Widescreen)         Up (Four-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + BD Live) [Blu-ray]

Up [DVD]                            Up [Blu-Ray]

Friday, February 25, 2011

100 Bad Movies- 96 - Alien From L.A.

Alien From L.A.

Well first of all this post is not going to be very long. Why? Because I watched Alien From L.A while I was rather sick, with a virus that or may not be Flu. I already had a throbbing headache, and I'm sure the fever I had at the time was caused by my sickness and not the movie.. In saying that, it certainly didn't do me any favours either.

Kathy Ireland stars as Wanda Saknussem, a nerdy looking teen, who wears giant glasses and sounds like she's inhaling a small amount of helium with every breath (may or may not have been the sound quality, but everyone else sounded relatively normal). Wanda is quite the, woe is me, type. She is scared of everything, and never wants to go anywhere, and for this she has recently been dumped by her former boyfriend. 

We find out Wanda's mother died when she was young and her father is in Africa being an archaeologist looking for the lost city of Atlantis which he believes is located somewhere near the centre of the earth.....
Well basically he finds it by falling into a bottomless pit, and Wanda gets a letter telling her to go to Africa to tie up some of his affairs as he can't be found (probably something to do with the bottomless pit).

Amazingly when Wanda is poking around she stumbles onto and into this bottomless pit as well and manages to survive the fall to the bottom of the pit formerly referred to as bottomless. Well turns out Atlantis is there, and it's a dark, dingy and dangerous place for an 'Alien' from the surface world. Wanda makes friends who try to help her find her dad, and of course some bad people try to stop that from happening, adventure ensues and the rest is all very predictable. My opinions may be heavily influenced by my state of health at the time I watched it, but I make no apologies for this, and I certainly won't be watching it again, just to see if it really is as horrible as I first thought.

The acting is all very B grade but tolerable, and I believe the story is what makes this movie just plain horrible. I tried to like it, I really did, but it just wasn't happening. Like I said it was very predictable, and it had nothing else to hold my interest when I could see the ending coming 20 minutes in. The denizens of Atlantis were strange people, and they seemed to come in two types. The first type were dressed pretty much just like a bogan might have dressed in the 80's, while the second type were dressed up like failed 80's glam rockers without everything being shiny. In fact it was the second type that almost made me laugh, because they just looked ridiculous.

Overall I thought the movie was just plain horrible and you should most definitely NOT watch it. After Bolero I had grave fears for the rest of the movies on this list, and that had boobies! After Alien from L.A I now have no hope at all of enjoying anything on this list. With 95 more films to go, and all of them allegedly WORSE than this one I'm almost tempted to cut my losses and just give up on this little endeavour of mine. 

Of course I did say almost, so come back next time for number 95 on IMDB's bottom 100 Daddy Day Camp starring Cuba Gooding Jnr.

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Like number 96 on the TOP 250 Movies as voted by IMDB users -
1927's - Metropolis - 
Starring Brigitte Helm and Alfred Abel

The Complete Metropolis               The Complete Metropolis [Blu-ray]
    Metropolis [DVD]                    Metropolis [Blu-ray]               

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Almost There

Just a quick post to say sorry its been a while. I have been moving house, and getting settled and trying to get internets connected again.

It's almost all done so It wont be long before I suffer the torture of watching Alien from LA, and then get the pleasure of telling you all about it.


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

100 Bad Movies - 97 - Bo Derek: Bolero

An Adventure in Ecstasy it says. I say you would need to be ON Ecstasy to enjoy it.

Bo Derek does not actually appear in the title of this movie, but given that Bolero is basically about her, being hot and naked/semi naked for most of the movie I’m putting her name there. 
Bolero, what does it mean I asked myself, and then google. Me, I had no idea, Google on the other hand (sweet sweet all knowing google), came up with goods yet again.
Bolero means :
1 - A Spanish Dance,
2 - Music written for the Bolero dance (which is a Spanish dance).
3 - A short jacket worn mostly by women…
3 brilliant subjects that I have been waiting for movies to be made about, this movie is gonna be immense!!

Starring Bo Derek, as a young woman recently graduated with diploma in an unspecified discipline who, upon finishing her studies is granted with seemingly unlimited money from an unknown source. I imagine it has something to do with family but it is never specified…
Now Mac, as she is called throughout the movie, apparently felt rather restricted while at school, and immediately makes her driver “Cotton” stop the car so she can run across the fields naked.
Bo Derek was born in 1956, and this movie was made in 1984, so at 28 she cuts quite a nice figure running across the fields pulling her clothes off like they are on fire. I was thinking to myself “2 minutes in and she’s already got her gear off, this might not be so bad!!!!” Unfortunately it wasn’t to last, she eventually had to open her mouth and speak, and the movie came crashing down around its ears. At this point it’s worth noting that Bolero was written and directed by John Derek, Bo Derek’s husband. I’m guessing because she was cast because she had the looks, and hopefully he wouldn’t have to pay her too much.

Basically the acting in Bolero, reminded me a little bit of The Wizard Of Oz, with a few exceptions. Firstly, The Wizard of OZ is awesome, Bolero is not. The performances in The Wizard Of Oz were perfect for the kind of movie it was, and suited to it’s target audience, children. Bolero’s target audience was more than likely men, old, young, married, single it didn’t matter, if your main brain lived in your pants then you were firmly in this movie’s crosshairs. In case you are a little bit slow, the acting was poor throughout, very poor. Granted it wasn’t helped by a storyline that relied heavily on a lack of blood in the uppermost vital organ to gloss over the glaring inadequacies of basic plot. (I have thought about this statement and can’t decide if it makes sense or not. I blame that on having just finished watching this movie. I know I probably shouldn’t but I’m going to leave it unedited, as an illustration of the negative effect this movie had on my cognitive abilities.  Or I’m making excuses for being a crap writer).

*Update - Bo Derek, Bolero has swapped places on the list with Alien From LA, and is today (03/02/2011) sitting at # 96*

Bolero turns out to be the story of Lida MacGillivery (Mac) on her quest to get laid for the first time, dragging her friend Catalina, who is also hoping to have her cherry popped, and Mac’s driver Cotton. The first stop on their journey is somewhere in the Arab lands, because Mac apparently wants her first shag to be with a Sheik, in a beautiful tent in a desert (every girls dream I’m sure). So she finds her Sheik, who just happens to be whiter than Vanilla Ice, and speaks with an English accent.. So the great white Sheik turns out to fail in the sack or sand as is more appropriate in this case, as he flies her to the desert to get it done, but ends up falling asleep while going down on her!!!
Virginity still intact she goes to spain, and falls for a bull fighter named Angel, who owns a winery (that Mac ends up buying) and some awesome horses (that he won’t sell). Anyway he’s pretty smooth, very Spanish, and fights bulls, meaning Mac’s virginity doesn’t stand a chance. Angel ditch’s the gypsy chick he’s been with since she was 14, and after a few encounters where the disgruntled gypsy tries to kill him and Mac, the deed is done, Bo Derek has the hottest line I’ve ever heard uttered during a sex scene “Even the pain feels good”. Mac is no longer a virgin, and now owns a winery.  
Not long after boldly going where no man had gone before Angel takes a bull horn in his groin, and fears erupt as to whether he will ever be able to love Mac again. However the only thing Angel cares about whilst bleeding from his man bits, is his dog, seemed weird to me, I mean call me crazy but if a bull horn had just threatened my ability to make a man horn, I wouldn’t be to concerned about my dog. But then I’m not a pet owner, and maybe the love can be that strong, I’m also not Spanish, and maybe they are just that macho.
So until the inevitable Re-awakening of little Angel, time is filled in with Mac riding horses, which she does naked for all of 2 minutes, I’m not going to lie I was disappointed. WELL what else happens…
The great white Sheik sends his minions to kidnap Mac, it seems he has mastered the art of, not falling asleep while going down on hot blondes in the desert, and wants to keep her forever. He loves her so much that during the kidnapping, and while loading her into his plane they don’t forget to strap a parachute to her back, and she makes her escape by jumping out of the plane.  Convenient.
Catalina loses her virginity to Mac’s Scottish kilt wearing attorney; even Cotton gets some action from a Spanish housemaid and the credits roll to Mac and Angel getting busy in the clouds!?!  The credits are beautiful for no other reason than that the indicate the movie is over, that I can write this up, and get the brain bleach out.
At 1 hour 44 minutes long, there is no denying that it is seriously long for such a bad movie, and it leaves me undecided as to whether this is an erotic movie with not enough story, or a porn flick, with not enough porn.

To finish up, and illustrate just how bad this movie is, I refer you to the awards Bo Derek and Bolero have won.
The 1985 Razzie awards:
Worst Picture and Worst Actress – WON by Bo Derek for Bolero.  Worst Director and Worst Screenplay – WON by John Derek for Bolero. Worst New Star – WON by Olivia d’Abo for Bolero and Conan the Destroyer. Worst Musical Score – WON by Peter and Elmer Bernstein for Bolero.
Andrea Occhipinti – Nominated for Worst New Star. Olivia d’Abo – Nominated for Worst Supporting Actress, Bolero and Conan the Destroyer. George Kennedy – Nominated for Worst Supporting Actor, interestingly he won an Oscar in 1968 for Best Supporting Actor in his role as Dragline in Cool Hand Luke (which is currently number 138 on IMDB’s top 250). Oh how the mighty have fallen.

To top it all off, in 1990 Bo Derek and Bolero were nominated for WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE.

I don’t normally give a play by play on the movies I watch but I really feel that you people shouldn’t have to sit through this movie like I did, I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. If you decide to watch it power to you, just keep some codeine handy.

Next up on the list is 1988’s Alien from LA. I’m not entirely sure what it’s about, but I’ve seen a little bit of it and I can tell you right now, Ill be dosing on the Nurofen before I put this on as one of the characters has a voice to rival that of Janice from FRIENDS. Wish me luck.

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Don't buy this one, buy a good one!!!
Like number 97 on the TOP 250 Movies as voted by IMDB users -
2000's - Gladiator - 
Winner of 5 Oscars including Best Picture
Starring Oscar Winner Russell Crowe

Gladiator [DVD]                 Gladiator [Blu-ray]    
Gladiator - Extended Edition (Three-Disc Extended Edition)     Gladiator (Sapphire Series) [Blu-ray]

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

100 Bad Movies - 98 - Police Academy: Mission To Moscow

Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow

I was actually a little bit surprised to find a police academy movie on what is essentially a list of the worst movies ever made. Many people will be familiar with the Police academy series of movies and I like many people recall watching these movies as a kid, laughing heartily at the antics the gang get up to. I especially remember the hilarious talents of The Man of 10,000 Sounds, Michael Winslow, and wondering how on earth he could make all those different sounds.

While I am familiar with the police academy movies, I had no idea that Mission to Moscow was actually the 7th Police Academy movie to be released. Released in 1994, 10 years after the original Police Academy and 5 years after the 6th movie, City Under Siege, I got a few laughs out of it but that was it. I suspect there are a number of Police Academy purists out there that would definitely not be impressed with the 7th instalment.

I really don’t know what to say about this movie, the formula was tried and true from start to finish:
The Ruski’s can’t handle a crime boss by themselves, they get help from the Americans, god only knows why the Police Academy gang get the call for help (apparently the FBI or CIA were out having lattes or something). Anyway Yanks fly in to Moscow, make dicks of themselves for the most part, before eventually saving the day and becoming Russian heroes.  

Now I’m writing this only having finished watching the movie about 15 minutes ago, and nothing really stands out, the movie wasn’t overly boring or anything, it wasn’t painful to watch except for maybe the “Sword” fight at the end. However it also wasn’t funny, maybe because it’s the 7th Police Academy movie off the line, and I really wasn’t expecting much; Or maybe because sometimes humour gets dated and things just aren’t funny anymore. You think Police Academy, you generally think comedy, and unfortunately it wasn’t there.

One thing that did really strike me about this movie was the cast, and given the movie really isn’t worth dissecting, I’ll yak about them.
Before he got his head blown off in Enemy at the Gates, and before he started shaving his horns and protecting mere mortals from the forces of darkness as Hellboy, Ron Perlman played the bad guy -Konstantine Konali in PA: MTM. He’s is also a Golden Globe Winner.
Before he cut Anakin Skywalkers hand off, and then subsequently got his hands, and then his head cut off by Anakin in the Star Wars movies, as Count Dooku, and before he battled Gandalf and won, and roused the anger of the Ent’s and lost everything as Sarumon in Lord of the Rings. Christopher Lee played the Russian Commandant in PA: MTM.
While I didn’t visually recognise Greg Berger and Charlie Schlatter, I certainly recognised their voices.
It seems these 2 have found plenty of work as voice actors in years gone by, Greg providing voices for Video Games like: Many of the Command and Conquer Series, Call Of Duty, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and more recently Avatar the game. He also voiced “Cornfed” in the animated Duckman series and many other animated TV series characters.
Charlie on the other hand has provided his voice to such projects as: Butt Ugly Martians (TV), some of the Metal Gear Solid games, The Rise of The Argonauts, Everquest 2, The Punisher game, and children’s cartoons, Bratz and Ben 10.

Overall, Police Academy: Mission To Moscow misses the mark. Yes it’s a police academy movie, and apart of that dynasty forever. However we have to ask the question. WHY? Why did someone think it would be a good idea to make a 7th movie? Obviously the actors/actresses did it for the money, but surely the first 6 movies weren’t exactly gold mines were they?  Some things we will never know, but I’m pretty sure 90% of people who watch this movie will ask themselves why they bothered. I might even write a ballad lamenting my lost hour and a half.

Next up Number 97 on the Bottom 100 Movies as voted by IMDB users: 1984's Bolero. Apparently it contains atleast 1 scene involving naked horse riding so woohoo something to look forward to.
Actually come to think of it being from the 80's and given it seems to basically be a soft core porn, on a list of the worst movies ever made, im now starting to get a little bit scared about WHAT exactly is getting naked and riding around on horses!! Find out next time.

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Like number 98 on the TOP 250 Movies as voted by IMDB users -
1973's - The Sting - 
Starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford
The Sting [DVD]                     The Sting [Blu Ray]    

The Sting

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

100 Bad Movies - 99 - Marci X

Marci X

The first of our FRIENDS stars rolls into the list, like a rusted out lo-rider, with broken hydraulics and an AM radio stuck on the religious station. Lisa Kudrow stars in Marci X playing the role of Marci, A socialite with a rich daddy alongside Damon Wayans who plays Dr S, a controversial “Gangsta” rapper. As far as the worst movies ever made goes Marci X deserves to be on the list, I'm just surprised its not closer to the top spot.
Wow where to start.
Well I actually watched Marci X with my girlfriend, and well, after this I think it’s safe to say the next 98 movies on the list, I’ll be watching by myself. The first movie I watched, yeah the Turkish one, left me feeling like this list might be doable, it wasn’t good, but it was bearable.
Enter Marci X! At this stage (A mighty 2 movies in) with this movie only being number 99, I have serious concerns over what I’m going to encounter further down the list.

Now to the movie. In a nutshell the movie attempts to tackle the social issue of the acceptability of profane and offensive lyrics in music and to a lesser extent its effect on youth. In Marci X it's Rap/Hip hop lyrics that are under attack, with the main target being Dr S. Now I'm quite partial to a bit of Hip Hop/Rap so I thought this movie might amuse me… How wrong I was.
So this movie takes a light hearted look at profane lyrics in hip hop, lets put it in context.
This movie was released in 2003, taking a quick peak at the Rap/Hip Hop landscape  around that time we see that:
Snoop Dogg had released 5 Platinum albums
Tupac had been Dead 7 years, releasing 6 albums before his death 1 platinum, 3 multi platinum, and another 6 had been released after his death, 2 Platinum, 4 going multi platinum.
Eminem had released 3 multi platinum selling albums all of which were shrouded in controversy due to the theme’s and obscene language present in the albums.
50 Cent released Get Rich or Die Tryin in Feb 2003, by the end of the year it had sold over 6 million copies.
So if we take these things into account, and the fact I’ve only mentioned a few of the more famous and recognisable artists in the Hip Hop/Rap world, we see that by 2003 the use of offensive lyrics and bad language is not something that is going to go away anytime soon. In fact it could be argued that the same contrversial themes, and obscene language are the cornerstones of the multi billion dollar worldwide Hip Hop/Rap industry. Therefore when Dr S is copping grief from politicians for lyrics like “I wanna love ya in the butt” I’m thinking, In what world did the makers of this movie ever think that would fly?? I mean seriously, I’ve heard worse language on American Idol.
And why oh why would you make a movie based on Rap music, without any good rapping. I mean I like Damon Wayans, I used to love ‘My wife and Kids’, and I recall having many a good chuckle at him in Major Payne, but really rapping is something he should cross off the list of things to do and stick to listening to it, don't even "sing" along, just listen.
While on the subject of rapping Marci does it. That’s right Lisa Kudrow raps. Phoebe…. Raps…
Its not good people, lets not mince words it’s bad. Seriously, her rap about her purse, or her purses or something, I couldn’t quite hear it all as I was busy ensuring my ears weren’t bleeding. It did give me a new appreciation of Phoebe’s musical talents, as by comparison Smelly Cat is simply a piece of musical genius. Lisa Kudrow please never EVER rap again, for the sake of all that is good in the world, ignore Nike -  JUST DON'T DO IT

Well that was quite the tangent now wasn’t it, probably because the movie was horrible! There I said it, it’s horrible. Here is the movie for you in 1 paragraph.
Marci’s dad who owns the record label Dr S is signed to, gets sick. Crazy Senator goes on crusade to protect the innocence of children by hating on Rap music targeting Dr S. Marci joins crusade to save Daddy’s Company, confronts Dr S. She raps *shudder* gets to know Dr S, lo and behold they fall for each other. Dr S does something bad loses Marci, Marci cries, Dr S does something good, they get back together and the Crazy senator is defeated, rap music is free to keep on swearing. Of course the credits roll while they are pashing or something similar, I was way, way to happy it was over to focus on the details.

IMDB Trivia sums this movie up beautifully:
Chris Rock was offered the part of Dr. S but turned it down. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Rock said "It's the worst script I've ever gotten... I'd have been happier getting an envelope full of anthrax."”

Next up is number 98 on IMDB’s Bottom 100 Movies as voted by IMDB users: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow. I’m looking forward to it, I quite liked the Police Academy movies when I was younger, hopefully its place on the list is undeserved and I’ll have something nice to write.

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Don't buy this one, buy a good one!!!
Like number on the TOP 250 Movies as voted by IMDB users -
1992's - Unforgiven - 
Starring Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman and Morgan Freeman
Unforgiven [DVD]                     Unforgiven [Blu-ray]    

Unforgiven      Unforgiven [Blu-ray]

Monday, January 17, 2011

100 Bad Movies - 100 - Hababam Sinife Askerde

Hababam Sinifi Askerde
First of all, I know its been a long time coming, mainly due to my own personal laziness, somewhat because of Christmas and New Year celebrations, and a little bit due to keeping an eye on Brisbane’s flood drama, but mostly cause I’m Lazy.
Now to the movie, and I’m sorry to say the wait probably wasn’t worth it.
For one, its Turkish, and while I haven’t really heard a lot of the language, during the course of watching this movie I’ve found out that Turkish is not a language I really enjoy. Why? I don’t know. There is just something about it that irks me. So to all the Turkish speaking people out there, like the whole Turkish country, apparently I don’t like your language, Sorry.

Now with that out of the way, the movie wasn’t that bad. Don’t get me wrong, it certainly wasn’t that good either, but I think even at number 100 in the list its been a little bit hard done by, in fact could think of many American movies much more deserving of a spot on the list than this one.
**Update** If you check out the bottom 100 movies list on IMDB now, you wont find it! It’s no longer on the list, and the number 100 spot is now taken by a Power Rangers movie.

So Hababam Sinife Askerde is average at best, the story basically revolves around a group of guys, obviously in turkey. These guys are currently in high school, which is a boarding school, and it seems they are quite fond of playing pranks around the place. The main target of these pranks turns out to be the schools Headmaster who is also the father of one the guys. Go figure.
After one such prank, headmaster/daddy gets revenge by turning to an old rule book for educators and our pranksters end up with shaved heads. Its hilarious, so hilarious he even orders the other students at the school to laugh about it…
Now of course no prankster worth his salt would let that stand without retaliation. This comes in the form of quite the good prank. It made me lol, out loud even, and involves a type of acid (fictional or not I don’t know) that somehow can burn the fabric of trousers, without burning the fabric of an office chair, and without burning skin. This of course results in the headmaster/daddy wandering round school with his ass hanging out for all to see, sporting some form a Gbanger to boot.

And so the ultimate punishment is dished out. Turns out our pranksters have been staying in school for years beyond what is normally required in an effort to avoid mandatory military service in the Turkish Army. So… You guessed it…. Headmaster/Daddy rats them out to the military and off they go amidst the fear and tears to become soldiers.
From here I kinda lost interest I’m afraid to report, unfortunately when the jokes start to only make any semblance of sense when you can read Turkish the lol’s fade away, and your brains start rioting in the streets of your brain, because they have no idea why they are being put to work trying to decipher what your senses are bringing to them. I kinda get the feeling that this movie could have achieved the lofty heights of mediocrity but I reckon there is quite a bit that goes missing without a full knowledge of Turkish cultural nuances. Given that my knowledge of Turkey consists of: Gallipoli, Anzac Cove, They are the blokes that fought the Anzacs, and Galatasaray is a pretty decent soccer team. I really wasn’t in the best position to get the most out of this movie. In saying that, I have just read a review on IMDB for this movie written by a Turkish Bloke, and he only gave it 3 stars out of 10, saying "This Film Is Nonsense".
But anyway as with all movies following the useless/downtrodden, on a journey of self discovery through constant failure, they eventually buck up, and do something awesome a couple of minutes before the credits roll. Yawn.

One thing I learnt from this movie (apart from If at all possible DON’T watch Turkish Movies) is that Turkey has some reasonably attractive women floating around somewhere. I was surprised. I didn’t even realise Turkey had Women!!
That’s about all I’m going to say about Hababam Sinife Askerde so thanks for reading, if you were able to plough your way through it all. If you just skipped to the bottom then whatevs, power to ya.

Next up is number 99 on the Bottom 100 Movies as voted by IMDB users is Marci X, starring Friends Star Lisa Kudrow and Funny man Daman Wayans. Given how hard it was to find, I’m expecting big things.

Like Buying Movies?
Dont buy this one, buy a good one!!!
Like number 100 on the TOP 250 Movies as voted by IMDB users -
1941's - The Maltese Falcon - 
Starring Humphrey Bogart and Mary Astor.
The Maltese Falcon [Blu-ray]                  The Maltese Falcon [DVD] 
Maltese Falcon                      The Maltese Falcon