100 Bad Movies - 98 - Police Academy: Mission To Moscow

I was actually a little bit surprised to find a police academy movie on what is essentially a list of the worst movies ever made. Many people will be familiar with the Police academy series of movies and I like many people recall watching these movies as a kid, laughing heartily at the antics the gang get up to. I especially remember the hilarious talents of The Man of 10,000 Sounds, Michael Winslow, and wondering how on earth he could make all those different sounds.

While I am familiar with the police academy movies, I had no idea that Mission to Moscow was actually the 7^th Police Academy movie to be released. Released in 1994, 10 years after the original Police Academy and 5 years after the 6^th movie, City Under Siege, I got a few laughs out of it but that was it. I suspect there are a number of Police Academy purists out there that would definitely not be impressed with the 7^th instalment.

I really don’t know what to say about this movie, the formula was tried and true from start to finish:

The Ruski’s can’t handle a crime boss by themselves, they get help from the Americans, god only knows why the Police Academy gang get the call for help (apparently the FBI or CIA were out having lattes or something). Anyway Yanks fly in to Moscow, make dicks of themselves for the most part, before eventually saving the day and becoming Russian heroes.  

Now I’m writing this only having finished watching the movie about 15 minutes ago, and nothing really stands out, the movie wasn’t overly boring or anything, it wasn’t painful to watch except for maybe the “Sword” fight at the end. However it also wasn’t funny, maybe because it’s the 7^th Police Academy movie off the line, and I really wasn’t expecting much; Or maybe because sometimes humour gets dated and things just aren’t funny anymore. You think Police Academy, you generally think comedy, and unfortunately it wasn’t there.

One thing that did really strike me about this movie was the cast, and given the movie really isn’t worth dissecting, I’ll yak about them.

Before he got his head blown off in Enemy at the Gates, and before he started shaving his horns and protecting mere mortals from the forces of darkness as Hellboy, Ron Perlman played the bad guy -Konstantine Konali in PA: MTM. He’s is also a Golden Globe Winner.

Before he cut Anakin Skywalkers hand off, and then subsequently got his hands, and then his head cut off by Anakin in the Star Wars movies, as Count Dooku, and before he battled Gandalf and won, and roused the anger of the Ent’s and lost everything as Sarumon in Lord of the Rings. Christopher Lee played the Russian Commandant in PA: MTM.

While I didn’t visually recognise Greg Berger and Charlie Schlatter, I certainly recognised their voices.

It seems these 2 have found plenty of work as voice actors in years gone by, Greg providing voices for Video Games like: Many of the Command and Conquer Series, Call Of Duty, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and more recently Avatar the game. He also voiced “Cornfed” in the animated Duckman series and many other animated TV series characters.

Charlie on the other hand has provided his voice to such projects as: Butt Ugly Martians (TV), some of the Metal Gear Solid games, The Rise of The Argonauts, Everquest 2, The Punisher game, and children’s cartoons, Bratz and Ben 10.

Overall, Police Academy: Mission To Moscow misses the mark. Yes it’s a police academy movie, and apart of that dynasty forever. However we have to ask the question. WHY? Why did someone think it would be a good idea to make a 7^th movie? Obviously the actors/actresses did it for the money, but surely the first 6 movies weren’t exactly gold mines were they?  Some things we will never know, but I’m pretty sure 90% of people who watch this movie will ask themselves why they bothered. I might even write a ballad lamenting my lost hour and a half.

Next up Number 97 on the Bottom 100 Movies as voted by IMDB users: 1984's Bolero. Apparently it contains atleast 1 scene involving naked horse riding so woohoo something to look forward to.

Actually come to think of it being from the 80's and given it seems to basically be a soft core porn, on a list of the worst movies ever made, im now starting to get a little bit scared about WHAT exactly is getting naked and riding around on horses!! Find out next time.

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Like number 98 on the TOP 250 Movies as voted by IMDB users -

1973's - The Sting - 

Starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford

The Sting [DVD]                     The Sting [Blu Ray]